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Why We Can’t Pass Our Spirituality Onto Our Children

When I realised that it is not for me to pass my spiritual beliefs and practices onto my children, I was disappointed.  My understandings and ways of doing things work for me, helping me to be loving, strong and joyful, and I want my boys to feel loving, strong and happy.  But I would not be doing my job if I presented my way as the only way.

 

WHY NOT?!

One of our central roles as parents is to nurture our children’s natural spirituality so that they may experience guidance and support in their lives.  To do this, we need to help our children to find what works for them, not to copy what works for us.  This is, indeed, a divine assignment!  If we try to “convert” our children to our own style of spirituality, they may follow us because they feel they should but possibly without ever truly connecting with Love/God/The Universe.

The nature of spirituality is that it is felt with our spirits, not intellectualised with our minds.  We, therefore, cannot just present our children with a set of ideas to believe or practices to do.  We need to provide our children with a range of view-points and ways to practise – opportunities for their spirits to find what helps them to connect.

 

MY TRUTH VS THE TRUTH

Here’s a distinction that I made recently in a moment of quiet while brushing my teeth one hectic morning.  My truth is what works for me.  My truth points me in the direction of the truth, though it could turn out to be less accurate than the truth.

Truth resonates.

If something resonates with our soul, it’s going to work for us.  That resonation is Spirit leading us along our path.  Each person is wired differently so our ways of understanding and connecting with Life will differ.  Even beliefs that turn out to be “false” may serve our spiritual path. Being “right” is less important than connecting.  The intention to love and be loved is enough.

When all’s said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it. – Charles de Lint

 

SO WHAT CAN I PASS ON, THEN?

What we can pass onto our children is a commitment to their own true path and an openness to others’.  We can steer them inwards to help them recognise their truth.  I have started guiding my son to use what “feels good/right” as his compass of sorts in life.  It can be applied to so many things, including the way he treats others, the way he spends his time and the way he experiences his spirituality.  I am directing him to look inward, rather than to me.

Our own point-of-view isn’t irrelevant, though.  We can share it without insisting on it.  We can invite our children to join in with us so that they may try our beliefs and practices on for size.  My boys are only 3 and 6 years old so they take what I say as truth right now.  But I know that won’t last forever! – and I look forward to exploring other ideas and being spiritual adventurers together.  I’m willing to explore with them things that don’t personally work for me too.  It is important for my boys to see that my heart is open, always ready to grow some more and always respectful of other people’s perspective.

 

IN SUMMARY – SHINE THE LIGHT ON THEIR PATH

Spirituality is a personal experience.  It is guided by internal resonance, by Love.  We need to respect our children’s unique life journey and support them by shining the light on their path, not our own.  I am excited about my boys finding a spirituality that works for them and brings them love, strength and joy as mine does for me.

 

Much love to you and your little souls,

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