Earlier in the year, my husband and I were arguing at the family dinner table. It wasn’t over anything particularly big, it wasn’t heated and there were no insults or raised voices – we were simply discussing the topic at hand and exchanging our different points of view. Part-way through, I glanced at my son’s […]
There seems to be a gold standard for human beings that we call “well-rounded”. At sports and school prize-givings, there’s usually even an award for “best all-rounder” or something of similar effect. Well-rounded is a vague kind of a term, suggesting that the person to whom we can attribute this quality is fully developed in every desirable trait and ability. They are complete in some way that those of us with pieces/qualities missing are not. From childhood, we are given the mistaken impression that being well-rounded is favourable and actually possible.
…I now use getting present and inviting my intuition in (like I learned to do in my classroom that day) in my parenting. It especially helps me to respond appropriately to difficult situations with my boys. Although I sometimes share with you strategies for approaching specific situations in a respectful way (eg. to discipline or to respond to an angry child), I prefer to use my intuition than to lean on a process or strategy by default. Over the years, my best responses to situations have come to me in the moment when I’ve had no plan for how to approach it but my heart and mind have been open to really seeing what’s going on. The trick is to ask ourselves the right questions.
When we worry about our kids not being confident, we worry both about the anxiety they feel and that they will miss out on valuable experiences. Experiences we know they really would enjoy if they could just forget themselves for a moment and experiences they could learn from. We know they’d love to join in with that birthday party game but they’re too unsure of what to do. We know they need to develop their literacy skills but they won’t give new words in their reading a go, appealing to us to tell them instead.
So, I’ve been thinking lately, what is confidence?…