Newborn baby asleep on father's chest
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Sleeping is a Spiritual Practice

One night last weekend, I had to get up to Thomas (3-years-old) so many times I lost count.  I just couldn’t figure out what he needed and he didn’t seem to know either.  When I heard him call out again at 3:34am, it was almost physically impossible for me to open my eyes, which only wanted to sleep.  Once I’d managed to rouse myself, I decided I was going to cover all possibilities to secure Thomas and I both at least a couple of hours of unbroken sleep before it was time to get up.  So, I fetched him a drink and a snack, added another blanket to his bed, gave him another cuddle and even measured out a dose of paracetamol thinking “this is so unlike him, he must be sick”.  It worked for him but all that activity had woken me up and I took another hour to get back to sleep.  The next day, I was hopeless.

I cried over a disagreement between my husband and I – we weren’t even arguing, we just had different points of view.  I couldn’t muster up any energy or enthusiasm to play with my boys.  My patience was paper-thin and I became that shouty parent I wrote about in my post “WHY AM I SHOUTING AT MY CHILDREN?!” All my respectful parenting strategies went out the window and I resorted to the path of least resistance to get my boys’ co-operation – bribery.  My brain felt mushy and my body felt like a heavy bag of bones.  My inner resources had leaked away along with my sleep.

 

A BRIEF LESSON ON THE PURPOSE OF SLEEP

We often think of sleep as largely a physical need but it is a lot more than that.  Sleep is for the renewal of all parts of ourselves – body, mind and spirit.  When sleeping, our bodies don’t have to move beyond their survival functions and natural rhythms.  When sleeping, our minds don’t have to perform conscious actions.  When we’re awake, the physical needs of our bodies and noise of our thoughts can interfere with our connection to Spirit because they are more obvious and hard to ignore.  But, when we are asleep, they are quieter so our souls can more easily connect with and receive spiritual energy and, therefore, be regenerated too. 

This is why “sleeping on” a problem can be so helpful.  Through sleeping, our soul gets a chance to be heard and offer its intuitive solution.  We are often also more creative after sleep.  I write these blog posts first thing in the morning because that’s when ideas and words come most easily to me.  It is also why there is a healing quality to sleep.  When I was depressed, I would take to my bed.  Not just to escape from the world but because the break from having to function gave my spirit some refreshment.

“The process of truly becoming yourself takes a lot of energy and this energy can be replenished during naps”. – SARK, Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed

 

GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP FOR ALL THE FAMILY

Generally, I fall apart if I don’t get at least 7 hours of good sleep.  As a result, I have always been very protective of my boys’ sleep, not wanting them to suffer from lack of it.  As babies, it was straight to bed as soon as I saw their tired signs (once I figured out which of all my baby’s peculiar little movements were actually “tired signs”).  I wasn’t willing to go out for a day and make do with letting them doze in their capsule or buggy because it compromised the quality of their sleep.  I have always tried to prioritise and optimise their day naps and night sleeps because it’s so essential to their well-being.  (And mine – every parent knows the suffering an overtired child can inflict!)  Experiencing true sleep deprivation for the first time as a parent, I also realised I need to prioritise my own sleep.

Fortunately, my long night of getting up with Thomas was during the weekend and my husband was home.  So, in the afternoon, when I could barely haul myself out of my chair, I plodded up the stairs to my bed and I had a nap.  In her book, Change Your Life Without Getting Out of Bed, SARK includes permission slips to take naps.  I was so grateful when I first saw these.  I always feel guilty about deserting my family for nap-land but I do it when I need to because it is essential.  When I got up after an hour of dozing that afternoon, I made a lemon pudding for desert and played Lego with Jake.  I was restored.

I doubt there is a parent out there who can’t relate to that overwhelmed, can’t-function feeling of sleep deprivation, at least from the newborn days.  But, if your exhaustion doesn’t come so much from lack of sleep as it does from being busy and over-committed, I implore you, too, to sleep-in or take a nap when you need it.  Sometimes we wear our busyness like badges of honour – we must be important if people are relying on us to do all these things – but we’re miserable and we make those around us miserable too when we’re under-slept.

 

IN SUMMARY – A PRESCRIPTION OF SLEEP-INS & AFTERNOON NAPS

The title of this post may have seemed tongue-in-cheek at first but it’s not.  When we’re tired, any energy we have (physical, mental and spiritual) is used up on simply surviving and there is none left to be our best selves.  We want to be patient and kind and wise and all those sorts of things as parents – and just as people – but these can be near-on impossible when we’re sleep deprived.  Our bodies, minds and spirits are all beautifully connected and they all need plenty of sleep.

Let’s teach our children to take care of themselves by having sleep-ins and naps through example.  We could even nap with our children on Saturday afternoons.

 

Much love to you and your little souls,

 

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